Daddy Confession: I Need More Bedtime Patience

I’m a daddy to a really, really cute 5-month-old baby boy, and I am lacking patience at bedtime.

During the day I do my best to try to keep little Ollie calm and happy. We go for walks and we play with toys. We take turns in the play pen and exasaucer and mat. We sing songs and chit-chat and cuddle and take silly photos and have screen time. Whatever we need to do and we do alright.

But at bedtime, when the long day is over and the only goal is getting him to sleep… my patience isn’t nearly what I wish it was.

Now, I don’t mean that I’m screaming at him or running away. But it’s hard and I have trouble dealing with the screaming and crying of an over-tired baby who is fighting his hardest not to close his eyes and just settle.

I also have trouble letting him try to get it out of his system. I can’t find a way to sit still and listen to him screaming while Jess is holding him. I am, often, by nature, a doer and problem solver and not a sit back guy. That makes it hard to let him scream and cry at her when she’s trying to settle him. And not because I think I can do it better, but because I don’t want her to have to deal with it. It’s a sucky feeling and I don’t want her to have to go through it.

At the same time, I can’t find a way to rock him back and forth for more than 10 minutes at a time when he’s screaming at me.

So, my go-to move has been to ask Jess to give him to me so I can put him in the stroller and go walk laps of the underground parking garage.

Is that ideal?

No.

Is it every night?

No.

Some nights he gets in his pjs and sleep sack and eats and falls so deeply asleep that we put his little “don’t scratch yourself” mittens on him and put him in his crib and that’s that.

But on those nights when that isn’t the case. On the nights when he finishes eating and stares at me with huge bright big eyes, I don’t yet have the patience that I need to let him figure it out. No matter who he’s screaming at.

I want him to be happy and sleep well. I don’t want Jess or I to have to spend our pre-bed time holding a wiggly screamy baby.

And I want to be better.

So I’ll keep trying. I’ll keep trying to wait a little longer each night before I put him in the stroller. I’ll try more rocking and singing and white noise when needed.

I’ll try to learn more bedtime patience.