As a white dude in his late-30s, living comfortably (like not in fear of violence or lack of food or shelter) I know I’m privileged and lucky. And as the dad of a two-year-old white son, I know that right now I’m lucky too because I don’t have to try to explain racism, police brutality, or the clips of protests he sees me watching on my phone.

Look, this isn’t me saying I’m never going to have to have those conversations with him. But right now I’m not in that boat – and as selfish as it sounds (and I know it is) I’m kind of glad. I can be the late-30s guy that tries to share good content on Twitter to raise awareness, I can sign petitions and advocate for donations and change and just do that. But I don’t need to have the talk yet.

And I don’t know when I will. I know that part of what I want to teach him as he learns more about how to be a person is to be good and kind to everyone. But teaching him to be decent isn’t the same as teaching him that some people are racist and the system fails to serve and protect people through action and history.

I also know that I don’t have to worry about explaining to him how to protect himself from that racism and those systems. But I know I want that point to be part of the conversations and lessons I share with him. He needs to know that other kids are going to grow up experiencing those things, and that it’s not okay, and that he can be there to help or offer support or march or sign petitions or vote when he turns 18 or any number of things.

I don’t know if we’ll be talking about George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Regis Korchinski-Paquet, Chantel Moore, Ahmaud Arbery, and others who have been in the news as examples of these things lately when it comes time for us to have that talk. I pray that we don’t have a full list of new examples to talk about, but I don’t know. I just don’t know.

#BLACKLIVESMATTER

History would point to more personal and systematic racism in the future because there is a lot to do to fix systems and educate people. But I really hope that the marches, demonstrations, protests, calls for action and change at this time lead to a better future for all BIPOC (Black, Indigenous and People of Colour) communities.

I’ve been trying to think of what to write or put in a video for the Coffee with Dad series or just to say to use my voice and privilege. I thought about a post like this, a Letter to Oliver post (which might still come), a video, lots of ideas and absolutely none of them have felt like enough. Enough weight. Enough good. Enough knowledge.

I don’t have the answers.

So, I guess I hope that what I’ve written here makes sense. I hope that if you’re a dad or mom or aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, whatever and you are white and privileged and fortunate, that you understand how lucky we are and are committed to explaining it to the kids we love that share that privilege – and try to raise them to solve the problems that have gone on for far far far too too too too long.

I’m going to close with this video from Brittlestar. It injects humour with heart and it’s a good reminder that white dads like me have it easier.

We all love our kids. We also need to work on loving and supporting everyone else’s kids too when they need us.

#BLACKLIVESMATTER