Hope, Peace, Joy, Love and Thoughts on Faith, Advent, Christmas and More šÆļø
As Christmas gets closer I’ve found myself sometimes lost in random thoughts and memories of the seasons from my past. And a lot of those memories end up being tied to the church and religion. Now, Iām 37 and Iāll be honest and tell you that my only visits to church in the last few years have been to see my mom lead services, for the baptism of Ollie and his cousins, and a funeral. It has been a long, long time since I was a regular attendee on Sunday mornings at our small United Church in Welcome, ON.
But I still consider myself religious. I am still grounded in my faith. I believe that the older I get, the more I try to slow things down and process them and figure out what I want to do (Should do? Can do? Will do?), Iām more drawn to my faith than I was in my younger years.
And that brings me to the Advent and Christmas seasons.
This is a long post, with sections and stories and thoughts and a lot more than I thought it would have when I started writing it. I hope that in some of these words you will find a connection or a flicker of something that helps or holds you if you need it. I write it with love. And weāll get to what that means in a bit.
For my entire youth, I was used to the four Sundays of Advent and the lighting of the Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love candles week-by-week. I was used to the sermons and childrenās time and Sunday School lessons. I learned the story of Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus. I learned about the shepherds and wise men and animals and the angels. And while I havenāt been to an Advent service in quite a few years, I remember those stories.
I also remember Christmas Eve services and lighting the Christ candle and singing hymns and reading scripture and celebrating Jesusā birth before celebrating Christmas the next morning.
There aren’t a lot of specific memories. It’s an amalgamation and feeling that I get when I think of Silent Night or O Little Town Of Bethlehem or O Come, All Ye Faithful. It’s small children dressed in costume and positioned at the front of the church in a nativity scene. It’s full pews and people wishing each other Merry Christmas on the way in and out of the service. When I think of Christmas Eve services and the Advent season, that’s what I remember.
After I started thinking about it, but before I started writing this post, I opened the corner cabinet in our living room and pulled out the bible my grandmother passed down to me. Itās a small leather book with metal edges on the covers and a matching clip to keep it closed. The front and back covers have been hand-stitched to the spine with black thread to keep it held together. Thereās at least one page missing at the back and it needs reattaching on the spine inside the book. BUT, it is so amazing to hold and read.
On the inside cover of this bible, a label-like piece of paper was glued (it’s kind of ripped now) and it reads, William Sheppard, Oct 1, 1815, Aged 19.
This bible is more than 200 years old. The man it belonged to (my great-great-grandfather?) read it and learned it and prayed with it. And it was passed down and down again and now it lives in our home. It is the oldest thing I believe Iāve ever handled. And it is special. I have no idea and no real way to comprehend what Advent or Christmas was like when this bible was new and William Sheppard was 19 or even 37. I doubt he could have imagined what it would be like now either.
I wrote a little bit about my faith and my concerns with the current Conservative Christian movement before Ollie was baptized. Those concerns remain. But, so does my faith. And when I think about my faith and the things that allow me to hold onto the idea of the church and the lessons I learned and the relationship with God that I formed, the principles of Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love are central.
Iāve always been a more New Testament over Old Testament guy. I have a lot of issues with the way people acted or were made to act in the older bible stories. I have issues with Godās actions and wrath. And so I find myself more invested in stories of Christ and his birth, his teaching, his healing, his giving, and his rebelling to support of those in need.
And in life, I find that those four candles that are lit on the Sundays leading up to Christmas, are worthy things to think about and reflect on and pursue.
Hope, without it we are lost. In the darkest days of pain, loss, anger, devastation and despair in the world, we need hope. Hope is what keeps us pushing forward and toward better days. The United Church of Canadaās 2019 Advent Calendar says, “Light the 1st Advent candle, giving thanks for Jesus our Hope”. Christ was the hope for the people around him and who needed him. His legacy and lessons offer many people hope to this day.
Peace often feels unattainable in a world ravaged by war and hate. We see countries torn apart. We watch vulnerable communities attacked by racism, bigotry, homophobia, transphobia, damaging policy and more. But for me, peace can also be calm. It is the feeling that in this moment, however short, things are okay. As I hold Ollie or hug Jess or sit and write, I have calm and peace. The calendar says, “Light the 2nd Advent candle, giving thanks for Jesus, Prince of Peace”. I wish and pray for the greater peace. I embrace and am thankful for my personal peace.
Joy can seem fleeting in our current times. We have a lot to worry about, thereās a level of anxiety that grips us and can keep its hold for long stretches. But joy is vital. Recognizing the things that make us joyful, celebrating them and sharing them and reminding others to do the same can help the light shine. The calendar says, “Light the 3rd Advent candle, giving thanks for Jesus, Joy of the World”. I will continue to search for and welcome joy into my life whenever I can.
Love isā¦ everything. I am very fortunate to have family and friends that I love and who show me, love. I have known love my entire life, and I know that Iām lucky to feel that way. Feeling loved can spark hope, peace, and joy – it is the connector and facilitator. It is light. The calendar says, “Light the 4th Advent candle, giving thanks for Jesus, Love made known”. After all of the trials of the Old Testament, Godās son was given to the world to teach love. And love, among all of the lessons that Christ taught in his travels, is the one that means the most to me, is the most universal, and facilitates hope, peace, and joy.
One of the reasons I think I cling to these memories or find myself lost in them is tradition. Iāve learned over the years that I am caught somewhere between progressive and preserving when it comes to the church. I am proud of my mother for following her calling and becoming a minister, and for the United Church of Canada being a place where she can do that. Iām pro-equality and marriage rights and believe the church should welcome and celebrate the love and devotion and faith of all people who want to get married in the house of the Lord and welcome them to be part of the congregation and community. But at the same time, I had trouble accepting that our home church was going to get a video screen and advanced speaker system (a great addition for the ageing congregation). And I had trouble accepting the first time John 1: 1-5 was not going to be part of a Christmas Eve service my mom was putting together. It was foolish and stubborn of me. I got over it. But it showed me that I am the kind to hold on to things.
One of the traditions I hold most dear is the idea that church on Christmas Eve is a celebration of Jesus and his birth and the love and light and hope and peace and joy he represents to us. On the Christian calendar, there are two very obvious causes for celebration, Christmas and Easter. And I believe that celebrating the birth and resurrection of Christ is very important in maintaining the four principles of Advent that weāve been talking about.
However, not everyone feels that way. One Christmas Eve, a decade or so ago, I was at a service that went the other way. It was a stern and serious sermon with warnings and a real Old Testament feel. It was not my favourite, as you might imagine. Though it wasnāt without good, because a child in the row behind us lit up my heart with their singing of hymns like Away In A Manger and Silent Night. They were my joy that night, not the minister or the scripture. And maybe I needed that night to appreciate the other Christmas Eve services Iāve had. Either way, I know which means more to me and which I prefer.
Give me the happier version.
Give me the celebration of hope, peace, joy, and love.
Many religious people have a piece of scripture that they cling to. A verse or psalm that they can recite and gives them a sense of peace or calm or something. For me, itās those first verses of the Gospel of John that I mentioned earlier. When I was young, our minister, Wendell Sedgwick, taught us the verses one-by-one, week after week until we had it memorized. I remember reading it (or reciting it more likely) in front of the church at Christmas Eve services. I remember it still, 30 years or so later.
In William Sheppardās bible, it reads: In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in the darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.
Itās not obviously tied to Christmas. Itās not obviously tied to the Hope, Peace, Joy, or Love candles that we light during Advent. But for me, it is.
And so I picked up Williamās bible and I carefully flipped through the pages of very small print until I found it. And I read it. And I read it again and I thought of the slight difference in language in how I learned it from Rev. Sedgwick at Garden Hill United Church.
It connects me to the lessons I learned, passed down from generation to generation like this old bible, and with an eye on the future and what I can pass onto Ollie.
And it reminds me of Advent and Christmas. It brings me comfort. It calms me and brings me peace.
Regardless of your religious leanings, your faith, your belief or scepticism or atheism and agnosticism – this Christmas I wish you all Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love.
Merry Christmas.